Five years ago, children aged 8 to 18 spent an average of six hours per day online. Now, the same age group spends an average of seven and a half hours per day with some form of electronic media—this according to Deb Henkes of the Keystone Area Education Agency, during the “Keeping Kids Safer Online” seminar, held at Notre Dame Catholic School on Tuesday, Jan. 26.
Henkes, who has spent a total of 30 years in the education field—four of which were with Keystone, says technology changes quickly, making the Internet evermore accessible to almost everyone. However, despite the benefits of having access to an enormous amount of information, she says the “online world” poses risks for school-aged children.
In this day and age the Internet can be accessed in many ways, including from a desktop computer, laptop, gaming device or even with a cell phone—leaving children susceptible to online risks. Henkes says one of these risks is “cyberbullying,” which is a form of harassment that happens online.
“Sometimes I think bullying that happens online may be worse, because with technology, [the harassment] follows you around,” said Henkes at the seminar, adding that technology seems to be something people cannot escape from. For example, the cell phone always seems to be within arm’s reach and the computer always seems to be on.
Cyberbullying includes things such as stealing identification names and passwords or posting inappropriate messages through social networking Web sites like Facebook or MySpace. “Although these comments can be removed from [Web] sites, it’s amazing what goes up before being taken off,” said Henkes, noting that by the time the message is read, the damage is likely already done.
During the seminar, she noted the case of 13-year-old Megan Meier, who committed suicide in October of 2006, after an online relationship with a 16-year-old boy came to an end. It was later found that the “16-year-old” was a character dreamed up by three people who created a fake MySpace account as a means to bully and spy on Megan. Still, Henkes says cases like these are preventable.
“Now, Iowa has laws against this kind of harassment. As technology changes, it takes laws some time to catch up,” said Henkes. “If your kids are on a social networking site, you need to know their passwords and check on them.”
In addition to the seminar, Henkes had the opportunity to speak to third- through sixth-graders at Notre Dame earlier in the day on Tuesday, Jan. 26. She says out of the 26 sixth-graders at the school, 17 said they had a Facebook account. “Do you know how old you have to be to have a Facebook account?” she asked those in attendance at the seminar. “You’re supposed to be 14.”
Henkes also asked the children how many had more than 100 friends on Facebook, and she said eight or nine raised their hands.
There are, says Henkes, tell-tale signs seen in children experiencing cyberbullying: parents might notice their children suddenly stopped using the computer or cell phone, children may act nervous upon receiving an e-mail or instant computer message and children may look uneasy or withdraw from people. “[Children] need to know that if a situation gets bad, they can talk to [an adult],” said Henkes.
Henkes says children need to be informed that if they receive an inappropriate online message from someone else, they should never respond in the same way. However, the message should be saved for future reference. Parents should also instruct children to block bullies from their online “friends” list, and if worst comes to worst, delete the current online e-mail or social networking account and create a new one with a new screen name and password.
The most important thing, according to Henkes, is that children tell somebody when they experience a problem online. “It’s so important to communicate with your kids. Stay calm, keep the communication lines open,” she said. “It’s really important that you spend time with your kids and get to know what they’re doing.”
Cyberbullying becomes easier when children reveal too much information about their lives online. “Kids need to understand that what they post online can have real-life consequences. Other people can see these posts even if the privacy setting is set,” said Henkes. “People leave behind a ‘digital footprint.’ Once it’s on the Web, it’s hard to get rid of.”
Henkes says children these days don’t really behave differently than children from previous generations. “We did dumb things, too. It’s just that the whole world didn’ t have the ability to see it,” she said. “We passed notes as kids, they may be texting.”
Still, Henkes says her purpose is not to scare people or tell them that technology is bad, but rather that technology has the potential to cause problems for children if people let it. “Technology is a part of our lives, we just need to know what our children are doing,” she said.
For more information on how to keep kids safe online, visit ConnectSafely.org, NetSmartz.org or OnGuardOnline.gov.
